Acting My Age

For God’s sake you two, get a room. I’ll pay for it. Heavens.

And you kids, stay off my lawn.

I don’t understand the words to any of this music.

Where can I find really comfortable pillows?

Do my eyes look baggy to you?

My golf swing sucks.

Does anyone else have a knee that goes out when it’s cold outside?

Fucking bifocals!

No, I hear gray is *distinguished* on a man.

How long can a damned hangover last?

No, that’s a *book*.

Pull you pants up!

Take off that damned baseball cap!

And *get off my lawn*!

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